Fake Confidence

Our world today looks and feel more and more like a theater. Everyone is acting like they are celebrities strutting around town, showing off their assets and trying to look confident. And that is the sad part, to many, all of this new sense of ‘lifestyle’ people want to indulge in promotes a sense of confidence that is actually hidden behind true vulnerability. These act aren’t CONFIDENT, it’s trying to seem confident in layers of mask and mannequin.

True confidence doesn’t actually look and feel pretty or glamorous most of the time. It is actually walking into the world with all your scars, your pain and fear but with a smile and a great sense of comfort that you are ok with it. It is trusting that the world accepts you for who you are and no less.

I do have to admit that there’s no escaping from trying to protray yourself in some way that is one side of who you are in social media. Who wants to mediatize their ugly morning wake up face or their ugly sweating bodies after gym? Nevertheless, it is a part of everyones life that doesn’t need to be shared. But from showing people only the ‘good part’ of what you do and how ‘good’ your life seem, you’ve created a utopia for yourself through other people’s eyes and you’re pretending that your problems don’t exist.

What sparked this article is that, while having dinner on one of the touristic spots in town (Bangkok), I was people watching and spotted a few of those who might be ‘social media influencers’ trying to get that perfect photo, trying to avoid people around them in the frame and freezing in the middle of the street while crowds walk pass them and stare at them.

See, just because all eyes are on you (not for all the right reason you want them to) doesn’t always mean that they praise you or think you are confident. Most of the time, people think you are self-indulgent. Of course it is different from when you view that same scenario on your phone when all the rest of the environment is cropped out. You don’t see that look on other people’s faces on you. Most of the time while you stand their to be watched, you also avoid other people’s eyes that are on you.

Not that what you do is wrong. We are free and entitled to live whatever kind of life we want. But don’t mistake it for confidence because that is not what the people around you see. Needing approval from others is the lack thereof.

Confidence from Latin confidentia, from confidere is to ‘have full trust’, full trust in yourself and in others of no judgment and no ill fate. As long as you care about what people think about you, you are still in battle with your confidence.