LOVE. The four-letter word that can make or break the world. We have its definition written in dictionaries yet the real meaning of it still confuses the humankind. What is love and how do you know if it’s love? Are you in love?…
Love is subjective. In different culture it translates differently with different kinds of action and notion but nevertheless, it is safe to say that we all believe we understand ‘love’ the same way. That is a lie. We don’t actually understand love the same way. Someone could be loving you but you think that it’s manipulation while someone could be hurting you but you think that it’s love. Love is different to everyone and that is because we all have different love languages. How our parents love or not love us paved the path to our understanding all of this madness.
Let’s book a therapy session before we dive into this…
Love is this funny little thing that makes the world go round. But amidst the instagram post and news feed of people trying to show off that they’re in love, if you take a real close look you can see which ones seems real and which ones wouldn’t last. Let me stop you right here. That was a bad generalization. No one can completely know if someone is really happy and in love because we are all good liars to ourselves and therefore even better to others. So, let’s not jump into any conclusions on other people’s relationship and focus on our own.
When we care for someone and adore someone deeply, it is hard to hide it even in a simple touch or in the way we quickly glance at them. That adoration is a part of love. Yet, love can also be easily mistaken as a strong feeling of “want”. Do you love that person or do you want that person. ‘Want’ is an impure feeling. It is like lust, and it comes with conditions. It gives to take. Love on the other hand is pure and although it is hard to start off with unconditional love, it gives more than it takes. It allows room more than restricting it.
If it is ‘Love’, you might know it instantly, but it can come in a form of familiarity and comfort. Which let’s be honest we all dismiss it as just friendship because we think that it has to start with wanting to take each other’s clothes off. Friendship is the most important basis of love. A long-lasting relationship cannot withstand time without it. It should be obvious since you will be spending the most of your life with that other person. But sex is important too, you ask?
Sex is a part of our social conduct and although we have sex to procreate, we also have sex just for fun. So yes, sex is important in a long-lasting relationship but there are many cultures that don’t emphasize relationships through sex. And let’s face it, real relationship isn’t about having sex everyday but that’s for another day and another post. We’re here to talk about love.
Love is the only language we should try to be fluent at and not only to our partners. It is unbalance if you love others more than yourself. It is also unbalance if you love someone but have a place of hate for others. Do you hate someone that you know or even someone who you don’t but they trigger that disgusting feeling inside of you? Because if you do, then there will be no place in your heart and soul that can truly find the real pure kind of love. Release yourself from that feeling and you will find a better way to love and therefore, a better way to receive love.
In any religion we can all agree that love is patient and love is kind. There’s no inbetween.
So how do you know if it’s love? You know when you know…
