Do you have one? If not, you should start practicing it!
My biggest pet peeves are people without boundaries. People who think they can get away when little things like stealing your food or ‘borrowing’ your things without asking or not knowing when it’s ‘not ok’. Not only is it an annoying behavior but having no boundaries will affect your relationship with people around you more than you think. No boundaries mean no trust.
Imagine you are in a relationship with someone and your close friend knows no boundaries. This raises a lot of issues because you will not trust your friend around your partner because there are certain inappropriate things you find in your friend’s action that can be seen as too flirty, touchy, or just NO. If you feel that your friend that’s in a relationship is suddenly distancing themselves from you then you should check yourself. People with no boundaries will try to push yours without knowing when to stop or understanding the repercussions. That’s because people who don’t have boundaries only think about themselves and less of others. They probably play the victim as we speak.
It’s different for guy friends not to have boundaries because the most emotional details they will share with each other is probably the name of their girlfriend. Women, we share in detail many aspects of our lives therefore if you don’t have boundaries then you don’t know when to keep a secret and if a girlfriend can’t keep a secret – (LOL) she gone. This is why those who don’t understand boundaries will probably have fewer ‘female’ friends and more guy friends. Simply because they cannot be trusted.
Trust in a friendship is the most valuable thing. The fact that I know I can tell you my secrets and won’t have it bite my ass, later on, is very important. But more than information, no boundaries mean that you never know what that person is capable of because their line is too blurry. And it doesn’t have to just be with friends. People you meet who might seem trustworthy is because they have shown in their actions that they have clear boundaries which means that they won’t cross your line and that’s important to feel safe and secure in the presence of that person.
Having no boundary is also a sign of disrespect. People who are respectful of others will always ‘ask first’ to make sure they don’t overstep their territory. They will always test the water to see what goes and what doesn’t but people without boundaries will just do whatever they want and not care if it bothers you.
It is also something you should have in a relationship. Just because you are dating someone doesn’t mean it is ok to overstep your boundaries. We all need some private space for ourselves, especially in the bathroom. If you are someone who doesn’t have that and find yourself out of luck in a relationship, maybe that’s the problem. Serious boundaries issues are a deal-breaker for most sane people.
So if you are someone who has been taking advantage of the people around you without “asking first” then you should start doing it now before people disperse themselves from you.
But just so you know here are some tips:
Don’t touch other people’s things without asking (food, hair clips, perfume etc.). If it’s not yours, DON’T TOUCH IT.
Be mindful of others. This goes for so many things like clean after yourself you are not a child.
And last but not least, IF IT’S NOT YOURS THEN STAY OUT!
