If we have to go to kindergarten until university to learn about subjects, then the same goes with love and life. Here’s how to check if you’ve graduated from the school of love or not, because let’s face it, life is essentially different kinds of love and relationships we have to deal with until we leave this earth.
1st to 7th Grade
You understand what love is. You’ve fallen in love with someone and it was mutual. But because this is the first love, you are only beginning to learn how to be loved by someone else that is not your family and friends and also loving them in return. The good thing about this stage is that, because it is so new and fresh you are more carefree. But to be able to grow together into the next stage is to know how to deal with other new kinds of emotion that comes with love such as anger, jealousy, frustrations, expectations, dependence and independence etc. which most of the time cannot be met by your girl/boyfriend. That’s normal though.
With trial and error, we learn through relationships of the things we like and dislike about a person. The most important part is to know how to be dependent and independent in a relationship because even if you are with a partner, you are still your own person and your partner is their own person as well. Both have their own preferences that might be different but is not necessarily a bad thing. Learning to be comfortable with all of the differences is what most people struggle with. (Who knew going into high school is this hard… but that’s life!)
High school
Knowing how to love comes the next stage of balancing the love between you and your partner. This means understanding the relationship of give and take. This, like keeping up good grades for university, is a crucial lesson. Often when we love we tend to either fall into the ‘giver’ category or the ‘taker’ category. But giving too much love and not getting enough in return will cause you pain and feeling like you’ve been taken advantage of. Taking without giving is simply selfish. Learn when to give and when to stand your ground because even when you love someone you have to respect yourself first and have integrity of who you are as a person.
Women are natural givers as we give life and have more empathy. Most of the time women have to stay on the sideline because she has taken up the role of a mother and a wife and often they do it wholeheartedly. But if she feels underappreciated or feels as if she is giving without anything in return then the relationship will be facing some difficulty. But it’s simple math…
University
Adulting is hard. Learning to love an adult is harder but the results will be worth a lifetime just like the diploma you’ve achieved. If you’ve graduated high school it means that you have now learnt not only know how to love someone but to be loved without losing yourself and your integrity. But life goes on and we keep learning new things every day, especially if you are developing a family, with kids, grand-kids… It will be a lifetime of discovering and learning to love more than you could imagine. But this is the testament to how well you can love and build strong partnerships for your family. That’s why learning is endless in any field!
We tend to forget that even as an adult we do not know it all and we have yet more to discover in life. But at the same time, we have to be growing and changing because if you aren’t then you haven’t move on from the stages of your life. Making the same mistake once is a learning experience. Making the same mistakes over and over means you haven’t develop new skills or new ways of thinking to achieve it. Remember to always work on yourself first and then the rest will fall through. ?
