Unbeknownst to Kevin from ‘Bling Empire’ as he criticizes Kim by saying “who raised you, wolves” which in an instant reaction, she threw her drink at him.
Well, well, Kevin. Even though if you watched the new reality show you’d know that his criticism is justified. However, to insult an Asian by bringing up their parents is probably one of the rudest and unacceptable things to say. Of course, we let it slide to the people who just don’t know the culture. Kevin is adopted by white parents, therefore, doesn’t know the Asian unspoken culture.
In almost every Asian culture, to say “you’re a shame to your parents” or “your parents don’t educate you well” is very hurtful. For the west, you’d probably shrug it off but not with us Easterns. We are a very family-oriented culture. Everything is passed on from parents and grandparents to the child and the lack of means that you don’t have a good family. That brings shame not just to you but to the entire family.
Why do you think getting a good grade in school is so important to the Asian family. It is because the child don’t just represent themselves but their whole lineage. That’s a big baggage to carry. When someone acts disgracefully or unlawfully, they might put the person behind bars but the whole family will be tarnished with a bad reputation. Family is everything.
Modern (American or western culture) might have changed on a micro level but in the long term, that mentality or way of life won’t last in the Asian culture. Even if China is a communist country and we all can agree to disagree about whatever they do, their work culture will always transfer better within Asia just because we share that deeper understanding of family and heritage.
This also brings us to the very important understanding in the social culture of Asians is that they won’t share their privacy especially about their family with you until they are sure you are trustworthy. Having a sleepover with an Asian friend means that you are vetted and that the parents trust not just you but your parents enough to welcome you to their homes or vice versa.
So the next time you talk to your Asian friends, don’t forget to send love to their family too! That will gain you big love in return 😉
