There are many stages in our lives that is shaped by the experiences we’ve had and the lessons we’ve learnt along the way. It reshapes our world views, perspective and priorities. Some people are stuck on some stage longer than others while some move along in a much higher speed. It doesn’t matter but it does mean that we will outgrow some people and some relationships.
We can not control what other people experience and how they come to deal with it. People accept your advice and guidance upon their own will. They already know what kind of answers they can expect from you and that is why they chose to come to you in the first place. Not because of your wisdom (not really) but because they came to hear what they want to hear. If you’re the honesty type then people come to you when they really want change. If you’re the “everything will be fine”, gentle sweet talk kind of person the they just need to be consoled.
At some point in your life though without anyone’s fault, you realize that some people are a pull in your life. Not that they’re a bad person but if you want to grow and move on to the direction you are aiming for and someone is just pulling you back then it’s time to move on from that person. If you can’t imagine the same future or have the same kind of priorities then there will be bitterness and you have to move on.
This is the hardest part of any kind of relationship because you reminisce on what was so good in the past and the comfort it once bring. But there won’t be a happier future if the present doesn’t bring you joy. You will feel burdened, bitter and remorseful. We simple have to accept the fact that we outgrown this phase of our life and if the people around can’t grow with you in the same pace even with patience then you have to decide if you want to pause your growth to take care of them and bring them with you or let go.
But if you’re lucky, along the way as you’ve moved on and the people you’ve ones had to leave along the way met you where you are now, where they have grown in their own direction to meet yours, then you get to continue this journey together and rebuild the relationship again. That’s the beauty of life. The road is not straight but a curvy, complicated, highs and lows with too many intersections.
I hope I see you along the way!
