Stages of Drunk

I have to confess that I have been sober for the longest time. On some occasions, I enjoy a couple of glasses of wine. Now, I wasn’t always like this but guess what, being sober makes you analyze yourself a whole lot better. Who knew?

The first stage of drinking: 2 glasses of wine (in my standard)…
Men typically start looking more attractive in an instant. From the regular bitch-face I wear, I’m wearing a cheerful smile with sweet, dreamy eyes. Here, conversations are likely to begin to flow as your ideas are running wild.

The second stage of drinking: 4-5 glasses of wine
Everything and I mean everything just seem so hilarious. Your date is probably feeling more confident from you laughing at his jokes. There’s also more touchy-feely going on. Still, that cheerful smile and occasional giggles. With friends, truths are coming out faster than Caitlyn Jenner (#nodisrespect).

The third stage of drinking: at this point, who’s counting?
The world is such a colorful place at night. Your body is at the oddest temperature and you want to rip those clothes off. Jokingly, you suggest to cool off somewhere (maybe, your place?). In the situation where you’re with best friends, there’s a lot of nostalgia like “remember when…” or total break-down “OMG! (this) (that) (*&^%)”. Something memorable would go down but only some of you will remember.

Touch down: really, there’s no counting here
At this point, many different scenarios could go down. There’s the chance someone is throwing up in some bushes or bucket or on the streets (be very careful of that friend). You could also be losing some members already. There are those silent escapees who just leave unannounced. The more troublesome are the ones that go full blackout. If you are light enough for your friends to carry you out, you might be lucky to wake up in your bed. If not, well, there would be one carrying your head, another on your arms and legs. We leave no friends behind. For dates, don’t ever reach this stage. It is not at all pretty. Worst, if you are the throw-up kind.

Now drink wisely and have fun!