Some of you may have married your first love but if you are unlucky like me, then you may have a few relationship baggage that you carry around. Make sure you don’t hold that against yourself.
For those who have relationship baggage, be reminded but don’t be biased.
When you start out in a new relationship, it’s all good and exciting but as we get comfortable our fears also get comfortable and you start to unknowingly allow it to enter into your new relationship. It is your responsibility to catch it and understand where your fears are coming from and communicate it with your partner.
One of the heaviest kind of baggage is if you’ve been cheated on. That fear of ‘what if it happens again’ is really hard to let go of and living in that fear will damage your relationship. It’s not only unfair to your partner but assuming that someone would cheat is like accusing them of being a bad person and no one wants to be a bad person, unless of course they are. Being cheated on is not your fault because even if the relationship is bad or someone wants out, there’s always an option and cheating is never a good option.
You’ll never forget the experience but practice giving people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t expect something bad all the time because at one point they might as well prove you right and you don’t want to be right about this.
Know the faults from your past relationship but don’t use it against your new relationship. Use it as a tool for you to set your standard.
Most of the time we allow things to slip through when you start out a new relationship because you are afraid of the person leaving but if they are going to leave because of the standard you have for yourself then what makes you think that you’ll be fine with it in the future. Like they say, nip it in the bud.
Just because your ex mistreated you doesn’t mean that your new relationship is out to get you. Don’t misplace your anger from the past into the future.
We are creature of habits and we fall into a pattern. Our fears and behavior also falls into a pattern. When a situation occurs like the past, you assume that the result is like the past. You are wrong or at least you should wait and see if you are right or wrong. Most of the time, we jump into conclusions and assumptions because we’ve seen it and we want to prevent it from happening. But what if that’s not the case, you then will ruin your new relationship before it could even start. Have your fears as a reminder, but don’t let it control you. Also, don’t repeat patterns. Sometimes it’s you who seek the drama.
Forgive your past and wish the best for your future and carry your baggage with pride! It made you who you are!
