People fear long-distance and how it might cost them the relationship, which is often true but why that is, is probably for some other reason than distance, which is not a good enough reason not to try.
If you are not strong or tough enough then for sure you will not be able to get through long-distance. What people fear more than failed relationship is being alone or feeling lonely. And that is the main reason why long-distance fails. You begin to seek comfort elsewhere. It’s not the person you are missing, its the physical affection that you crave and that my friend is not love, its lust. Ask yourself, do you miss the person or the sex?
But even the most independent person once in a relationship would find themselves becoming dependent on their partner and that is when you start to feel insecure.
Not because you’ve changed but you’ve forgotten that you were once by yourself and pretty damn good at it. Long-distance pushes you, if you can see through it, to refocus on yourself again. There’s no need to try to connect (virtually) with your partner 24/7. You do you, and your partner can do their thing and at the end of the day you’ll have more to talk about than talking all the damn time. Our lives aren’t that interesting, trust me.
And If you’ve never been by yourself then you might still haven’t figured out who you really are and what you want in a relationship. Yes, it is possible to work on it while being in a relationship but distance is the only thing that will give you the space to do so. If you’ve never been by yourself, you might be getting into relationships for the wrong reason. “Don’t love when you’re lonely, love when you are ready.”
See, being alone and being lonely is NOT the same thing. Yes the distance put us in a new territory that tests us in many different ways but it tests us (as individuals) and not the relationship. How you react is how it affects the relationship. So, work on yourself before trying to fix the relationship.
All these obstacles every couple has to face but being apart gives you more time and perspective into the relationship and test you under pressure. You will have to go through differences, having to trust, seeing if your futures matches. The bigger force in this is that, in a long distance relationship you have to have the adult talk (the future talk) sooner than later.
Thinking about the future scares us because none of us know what is in store for us. But we very so often fear to live our dreams or talk about it because “what if it can’t/won’t come true”? Well, if you are too scared to dream it, then you are probably too scared to have it! And the universe knows!
If both partners face the future together looking towards the same direction then there’s no fear in what’s to come. No distance can change that. In every relationship, we have to trust, we have to compromise, we have to be walking towards the same thing. Being in a long-distance is only a navigator towards it.
So if you are ready, set each other free in the relationship to build each others hopes and dreams ♥
